This past weekend Batman v Superman was released into the world. The reviews have been largely negative, with the positive points unable to outweigh the bad. But allow me to get a few of the larger points out in the open.

**So many spoilers ahead***

Wonder Woman was amazing. That Batmobile was the elegant dragon that it always deserved to be (don’t get me wrong, the Dark Knight Tumbler was bad-ass but this thing flowed through disaster like water the way the Tumbler crashed through it). Jesse Eisenberg would have made a better Riddler than Lex Luthor. Superman was a whiny conflicted child when he should have been resolute and acted like fucking Superman. Alfred can do no wrong. Ben Affleck was a good (although terribly written) Bruce Wayne/Batman.

This isn’t a proper review. If you saw the movie and hated it, this will remind you of all  the good shit in the DC world. If you saw it and liked it, this will get you through the mourning period. If you don’t have a clear opinion and just need to de-stress from the angry online and in-person arguments, this is the list for you.

Justice League and Justice League Unlimited 

Maybe the thing that pissed you off was all the teasing to the actual Justice League movie. Maybe the conflict between Batman and Superman just didn’t feel right, even if in the end they were fighting together. See how they really work as a team in Justice League. Also get your Flash, Wonder Woman and Aquaman fix until the next movie comes out.

Where was this banter when we needed it most?!?!

Young Justice 

If you want to see a proper interpretation of Superman as emotionally and morally conflicted, just look at his relationship with his young clone, Conner/Superboy. So many daddy issues. But you know what, even if Superman doesn’t want to take responsibility for the kid, he still gives him the space and resources for a support system that he needs.

Arrow (Season 1)

I’m Batman. You have failed this city.

The vibe of the BvS Batman was still gritty and depressed, but really missed the mark on tactics and intelligence. Get past the anger with Oliver Queen. Still dark with heavy action sequences, parent issues, works at night in a fictional city, clear objective of keeping his city safe on a ground-up execution.

Supergirl 

Batman v Superman was pretty dark, both in content and aesthetic. Supergirl will bring that light and hope back into your soul by way of sunlight and more color on the whole damn screen. Also you see a fledgling superhero going through the full arch of rookie to pro without the worst-most-gut-wrenching-frustrating death scene ever to be put on a movie budget. 

Batman Forever

 

 

 

 

 

 

If Batman v Superman was a little too dark or monochromatic for you, and you missed the old days where Batman was brooding but still witty, look no further than Joel Schumacher’s highly colorized version of Gotham’s Bat. Also the infamous nipple suit. But mostly, all of the villains kept to their traditional personalities, and everyone was the perfect level of crazy. If you watch the Riddler in this one, it felt a little similar to Jesse Eisenberg’s Luthor interpretation.

1978 Superman

There’s the Superman charm we know and love!

Christopher Reeve as Superman is the Superman of multiple generations of comic book hero fans. Age means nothing in this movie because when you’re introducing someone to the movie incarnations of Clark Kent you bring up Christopher Reeve at least a hundred times. If you’re a purist, this will fix all of your sadness and make the world seem hopeful again.

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